Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fistful of Jolly Ranchers

1) This fun demonstration of the orbits of the planets.

2) This tool for finding out things you might want to know about products you use.

3) Someone recently asked me why I don't share my own poetry on this blog. The answer is simple: to say that I "like" my own work would seem pretty cocky. I really only like it about 50% of the time, anyway. But, since it was requested, here is a poem that I wrote in High School that I like pretty well:

How to Break Up With Your Shrink

She'll want to know why.
It's hard, but be sure to make eye contact
as you relate to her
that things just aren't working out anymore.
The chemistry is gone.
Keep your cool, or else
you might show how you're shaking inside,
you might blurt out "It's not me, it's you!"
and scream about all the ways she let you down.
No,
don't do that.
She'll be very sensible about it.
Say that yes, sometimes people change,
develop new needs that cannot be filled
by the person they're currently seeing.
She'll wish you luck in your endeavors,
she will only sound hurt for a second.
You may or may not want to mention
that you've started seeing someone else.
That you have, actually,
visited him multiple Wednesdays,
while still seeing her on Mondays.
As you leave, shake her hand.
Be sure to use your left hand,
not the right hand,
clenching one last fistful of jolly ranchers
from the ceramic bowl on her glass coffee table.
Say "goodbye" and "thank you"
in a politely detached voice.
Leave your final check
next to the vase of fake flowers,
and don't look back.


4) This picture of my great grandmother, Helen.

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