Friday, August 5, 2011

That'll do

1. Conversations with my father on the phone rarely necessitate my input and often go something like this (fyi, 'Willie" is an obese cat, and "Wandering Jew" is legitimately a plant name)...
Dad: What is that plant that Willie's eating? Is Wandering Jew a risk for cats? I don't know. I'm going to let him eat it.
(thinks for a second)
Where's Karen? Upstairs. I'll ask her when she comes back, and she'll probably tell me that it's poisonous... (another thoughtful pause)
Willie, stop eating that! (pause as he walks over to Willie) He's not really eating it, he's faking. That'll do, cat.

 2. Some amusing gay rights/marriage equality signs.
 My favorite:

3. I've been going through a long process of unfriending on Facebook. I reached 950 and decided there was no reason for that many people to know my business. It's been difficult, I've found myself over-thinking it a lot. My goal is 500, but right now I'm stuck at 680. My dear friend Isa has been very supportive throughout this ordeal, offering lots of advice, pep talks, and words of wisdom. One of her gems:
Me: Oh, it's ______ ______'s birthday though, I can't unfriend her on her birthday!
Isa: Actually, I find people's birthdays is a great time to unfriend. If I see that it's their birthday and I don't even care enough to tell them "happy birthday" on their wall, it probably means we don't need to be facebook friends.

This is really solid advice, and I am going to use it.

4. Last week I made this vegan coconut cake, and it was pretty good. I didn't have shredded coconut or coconut oil, so the coconut flavor was very subtle, but it was still tasty. I only had one cake pan, so I decided to put it all in one (the recipe called for two, later stacked with icing), which was a mistake. It took a long time to bake in the middle, and by the time it had the outside was a bit more baked than I'd have liked.  Follow directions, readers. They're there for a reason.


  1. Helen, I just wrote a very long, detailed, & witty comment on your blog. Unfortunately, the blogger interface is as about as graceful as a cinder block and as I was trying to adjust my sytnax the whole long, detailed, & witty comment was regretfully deleted. Here is a very abbreviated version of my comment, you'll just have to use your imagination to fill in the gaps:
    1. Facebook forever: & "don't delete me bro'!"
    2. My dad knows how to ties lots of knots and I think that it's cool.
    3. I like coconut. I ate an fun-sized almond joy candybar today at work. Pie is the new cupcake. Hipster restaurants are dumb and expensive. Donuts are the new pie.
    4. When was the last time you ate a donut? This is my favorite song from three years ago:
    5. I like poems and when you post them on your blog and my roommate subscribes to the newyorker and their poems are sometimes good but most ofthetime BORING. My favorite part of the newyorker is the movie review page. Do you like Miranda July? I am excited to see her new movie. I watched Beginners, that movie that her husband directed, and it's actually fucking good and I think you would like it a lot and here is a poem I like a lot, i might even say it's my favotire?
    6. This wasn't in my original comment but that last, ugly sentence I wrote reminded me of this:

  2. Jeffrey, thank you for the time and effort that went into this comment!
    1) I will not delete you.
    2) That is cool. My dad knows everything too.
    3) I've heard that about doughnuts. I'm still always going to be about pie.
    4) Three months ago.
    5) I saw Me and You and Everyone We Know and thought that it was everything that indie comedies try to be and usually fail at. I'm excited to see the Future as well, but that cat in the trailer freaks me out a little. I also have always loved that poem.
    6) Thanks alot.